k h r i z i a k a m i l l e

Hi God.. we need to talk. I’ll just be honest. Do You remember the heart You gave me? The one You gave me to  love You with it completely?  The one You invested in, and entrusted me with to love You completely? Well, here it is.. It’s a little bit worn out.

I’m sorry it’s broken. I remember you warning me to guard it but I got too excited trying to give it away, and I fell so hard. It turned out that the boy I wanted to give it to ended up not catching it.. so it dropped.. Just like that.. Why does it happen like that..?

There are a few strings there that have been pulled because I put my hope in things that won’t satisfy, even though I knew You’re the ultimate satisfaction.

I’m sorry there’s rusty chains around parts of it too. It was a time where I didn’t want to get hurt anymore. I was so vulnerable, and I put myself out there only to be rejected.. My presence wasn’t welcome so I stopped being there for even my loved ones.

I’m sorry.. it ceased to beat. It’s not really doing anything with a purpose anymore. It’s not living anymore.. it just exists.

But God.. it’s silly to wonder if it’s too much to ask.. but please create in me a new heart, a pure heart, meant for You and only you. Take away the chains, the seams, the cracks, and any last imperfections I can’t see.. I know You delight in taking broken things and making them new, improved, and put to good use.. Help me to guard this new one properly. Don’t allow myself to stray so far from You that You can’t hold it. God, please be the keeper of my heart, and keep it beating steadily for You and only You.

I love You,

Me.